Saturday, November 27, 2010

NASL Commissioner Candidates

Hola amigos! We all have heard about the new NASL and hope it will one day reach the glory of the old league back in the 70's and 80's. So Burrito listen to "Its called Football" interview of NASL CEO Aaron Davidson and he mentions an NASL Commissioner...
So, Burrito decide to make a list to help out el Senor Davidson and the rest of the NASL teams make a decision on the best candidates out there so they can SIZE them up... hmmm --->

So here it is, in no real order of preference:

Ray Hudson
Currently a GOL TV commentator. Has the best quotes ever in the history of Futbol! Imagine how the press conferences could be!? Just the other day he say: "Ronaldo's gem is a Koh-i-Noor diamond of a hit & bamboozles poor Iraizoz who's got eyes like Marty Feldman seeing that coming at him."... whatever that mean... Ok, so Ray was the coach of Burrito's favorite teams of all time, the Miami Fusion! He also coach DC United and played for such teams as Newcastle United and the Fort Lauderdale Strikers with Nene Cubillas and George Best just to name a few! Who better to lead the NASL than someone who played in the old NASL?

Fernando Clavijo
USA national team player, Ex Coach for the Colorado Rapids, New England revolution, Haitian national team and so on. He even comes out as commentator on Univision sometimes. Fernando is currently working for Traffic Sports owners of Miami FC and has brought youth talent such as Gale Agbossoumonde, among others. Fernando is a very down to earth person who goes out of way to talk to anyone about futbol. Clavijo would be an asset to the NASL guiding them to future glory. Clavijo, Clavijo, he's our man if he can't do it no one can!

Eric Wynalda
Soccer legend, 2nd all time leading scorer for the USA. He one time play for Miami Fusion. Said to be in the eye of Chivas USA for open coach position. He speaks his mind and don't take caca from anyone. If he have to he do what Burrito do when other dawgs that get in Burritos face; Wynalda hump them and dominate them and say "Yeah who's the bitch now?..." like he say to Jim Rome... (ok, ok he didn't say that to Rome but he should have!) but Burrito digress... Eric would work to make NASL a league like no other. Sure, he sometimes doesn't think when he talk but who doesn't? Give Burrito Wynalda or give him death!

Marcelo Balboa
Experienced MLS player, like Clavijo also speaks Spanish. Passionate to the point of orgasm about futbol, Marcelo would do anything for the sport. He once cut his famous hair for charity! Burrito need to point out his hair was never cut since 1994! You no believe? check out video, sorry it in Spanish. (At about the 6 minute mark)

Henry Kissinger
German born, ex secretary of state under Nixon. Nobel peace prize winner. His Love of Futbol is legendary. He was once Chairman of the old NASL. Kissinger is a famous person with all the right connections. He would be an asset to NASL from the start! (as long as he doesn't fall asleep!)
In 1986 Henry Kissinger wrote "World Cup According to Character" for The Los Angeles Times.
Here is a little bit:
Soccer has never taken hold in the United States partly because neither a national team nor a national style has been encouraged. Still, as an unreconstructed fan, I hope for another attempt to popularize the sport...

Read entire article HERE

Kartik Krishnaiyer
Kartik is Burrito's compadre and as mentioned in previous blog entry: "Eats, drinks, talks and even sleeps with soccer. (Burrito hopes he use protection!)" Currently he works as NASL PR and Communication Guru so he already in the loop! He is no 'Yes' man and speaks his mind. Kartik knows a lot about Futbol in USA and more important is so passionate about it that he would work 24 hours a day to make the NASL the best league in the Universe! Aliens beware of Commissioner Kartik!

Zinedine Zidane
What is ZZ doing now? He is a retired French World Cup-winning futballer. Widely considered one of futbols all-time greats, Zidane played for club teams in France, Italy and Spain. A great player on the field and a humanitarian off the field Burrito think Zidane would be perfect as the new NASL Commissioner! Worse case scenario if he no like someone he can always head butt them!

Francisco Marcos
Jajaja! Sorry, Burrito laugh in Spanish here translation to English: "Hahaha" Burrito just kitten! Pero Marcos have over 30 years experience with USL here in USA. Maybe if the money is right he say hasta la vista USL and come to NASL in search of more moneys and look to repair his legacy witch is tarnished by the bad move in selling USL to Nurock. Si, all USL had to do was talk to the teams and none of this would have happened! Que pendejos!

Dennis Rodman
He's a drunk, party animal who now make living doing what he do best... partying and getting drunk! Would he be good for NASL and Futbol in general in the USA? Hell no! Butt Burrito think
he would bring much attention to the sport with his wild antics. Burrito bet NASL would be on ESPN sports center everyday! Hire the vato for 30 days and everyone in USA will know NASL exists, its about getting free advertising!

Diego Armando Maradona
Considered along with Pele the greatest Futbol player to walk the Earth. Suspended for talking bad to the press, his time as Argentina coach was numbered cause you know he bound to do something crazy! Like Rodman he would attract attention to the league but in Maradona's case the whole world would know! He wont be in office long enough anyway, you can expect him to get fired for drugs, women or booze! Offer Maradona an office in Miami and he will be only 90 miles away from his buddy Fidel Castro! Everyone in the world would know about the NASL for sure!

Victoria Beckham
Now here is a woman who's leg Burrito would like to hump! Victoria must be bored with the kids in LA and after years of managing "Golden Huevos" career she must have tons of Futbol connections all over the world. She would be perfect as NASL Commissioner since you know she's got the pants in her family! Wherever she goes Becks will follow or else she put him on restriction!

Burrito hope NASL bigwigs read this list and give Burrito's suggestions a thought.
Burrito like to thank Robert Scorca for giving him bone and ideas (even though Burrito prefers quesadillas!) and Kartik for being a good sport.


Just guess... said...

what about Train Wreck? At least he's better than rodman, victoria beckham, and zidane!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Posh gets my vote!

DYke said...


Anonymous said...

Eric Wynalda would be great!

Burrito said...

Burrito think it between Burrito's hero Ray Hudson or his compadre Kartik.
Burrito no mind if Fernando Clavijo or el Chelo Balboa be Commissioner eithers.
It need to be a famous vato who speak their minds and get things done!

Anonymous said...

Francisco Marcos? LOL